“Responsibility” - Is It Worth It? by Krystal Zellmer

What do you immediately think when someone tells you, “You’re responsible?”

This could be an opportunity for you to discover your own belief systems around responsibility.

Culturally we have created such a skewed view of responsibility. Why has responsibly become a taboo word in our society? I remember a time in my life where all I wanted was to avoid responsibility and commitment. I thought if I wasn’t responsible, I wasn’t at fault. The problem became that I wasn’t empowered either. In an environment where it is normal to be easily offended and blame someone else for the quality of our lives, it is a rebellious act to embrace the power of responsibility. It goes against average.

Responsibility is a privilege. True responsibility is an “I get to” not an “I have to.” It isn’t heavy, it is empowering and liberating.

We do an exercise in our Personal Mastery training designed to experience the difference between the victim mindset, and the responsible mindset. That one exercise radically changed my life and continues to empower people around that world. I was at a Personal Mastery class recently with one of our candidates for facilitation. A conversation began around whether or not I believed I had delivered the Victim/Responsible piece effectively. When everyone left the room after the piece, it was almost somber. No one was upset, yet people were not excited. I took this as a reflection of my delivery of the information.

This happens often and I have been perplexed about it for years. Responsibility is maybe the single most exciting mindset one can embrace. When you truly grasp that you are 100% responsible in your life regardless of circumstance everything changes. A world of possibility opens up. Resources you never saw before become evident. Your rebound rate dramatically increases. Choices you didn’t realize you were making become clear and easy to see. It is invigorating!

So why are first time participants caught off guard when they first experience this exercise? I think it is our predisposition to what we have been trained to believe about responsibility. Our culture sees it as taboo. I believe there is fear around being responsible because of the weight we believe is attached. We have a hard time separating the fact that we made choices with fault and blame. We struggle to view our choices as neutral. We are trained to avoid the very thing that gives us liberty. Isn’t that a paradox?

We describe in Personal Mastery that taking responsibility has nothing to do with fault or blame. Comparing fault and blame to responsibility is like comparing apples and houses; they are not even in the same category. So if you are feeling weight attached to responsibility, check in with yourself on what you believe it means. Redefine how you experience responsibility. Embrace that everything you have and you do not have in your life is a direct reflection of the choices you made and are making. Is that true? I don’t know… the real question is… does it empower you? I would rather embrace my choices and get to own my results than pass the buck and be victim to my circumstances indefinitely.

Responsibility is an option. Responsibility is a choice. Responsibility is an honor. Leadership resides in responsibility. Take responsibility for EVERYTHING. When you do, it will dissolve conflict, diminish anxiety and empower solutions.